As a mom who works full time outside of the house, I am constantly guilt ridden. There are several reasons for this guilt. Some are justifiable and some are not but who am I to argue. I am, and always have been, full of guilt. I am a people pleaser so it is in my nature.
Here are just some of the reasons I feel guilty.
1. For leaving Luisa Monday to Friday (yes using her name, she is real after all)
2. For knowing that for me, working outside of the home is much easier that being a stay at home mom. I truly believe any other working mother will tell you this. I deal with adults that can speak their minds. Sometimes they act like babies, but at lease they can "use their words" (for the most part)
3. For missing out on her daily milestones
4. For never having had a total breakdown because I went back to work (I swear, I love her, I just like working too)
Last weekend though, I had the best time just playing with Luisa and hanging out. She is almost 10 months now and she is so animated and funny. She is a little mimic and just hilarious. Come Sunday night, I knew I couldn't leave her on Monday morning. I made the decision to take Monday off and hang out with her all day. Two of my other mommy friends were taking their babies to the beach so we would join them. y Husband also had Monday off because, well, he takes about every 4th Monday off to do God knows what.
Monday morning arrived and Luisa woke promptly at 5:30 am. I jumped out of bed so excited for our day. We started off with breakfast with Daddy. We ordered Luisa a giant fruit bowl and laughed as she squirreled away melon in her cheek. Luckily the restaurant was empty so we didn't have to worry when she decided to play a song by banging the bowl on the table. We left the restaurant and Luisa decided that she needed a little nap. Funny, she never naps with her nanny but for mama? A nap. I cleaned up a bit and got her things ready for the beach.
We met a good friend for a walk on the boardwalk and then headed to the beach. We spent the rest of the afternoon there with her friends. The babies ate sand, the mamas drank coffee and I just enjoyed my daughter and my friends.
The day ended with a sand filled bed (mine, I didn't want to change crib sheets, stupid idea) and dinner with Daddy. Oh, and the ENORMOUS feeling of guilt for calling in sick. Sometimes I just can't win.
The Beginning in the End
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