I am in funk today. The worst part of it? It is not even my funk to be in. My life, thankfully, is fairly drama free. I have a husband of four years and a ten month old baby girl, oh and two ill behaved but lovable dogs. That is it. We have as much drama as that can supply and luckily, it's not much. I guess this is why I feel other peoples drama as if it were my own. (Also my excuse for watching reality TV, for the drama since I don't have much of my own).
Here is the root of the funk. A friend is back with an ex. This friend is not someone who I hang out with on a regular basis. We work together and I love her dearly, but we have our own paths and they don't cross as much as I would like. What's the problem? This ex, he's a bit on the verbally abusive side. Actually, he is a lot on the verbally abusive side. They have been broken up for a couple of years, but have never severed ties completely. He made her feel about an inch tall when they were together and made her feel about two inches tall when they were apart. He is a jerk, he is a coward and I can't stand the sight of him.
My friend? She is lovely, beautiful inside and out, talented, successful, the list goes on. So why oh why is she with this guy? I don't know. I think she lacks a bit of self esteem. I understand how this can happen, but with her it baffles me because she is so fantastic. I tell her this often, but she doesn't listen and I get it. I know how we view ourselves is often different from how others view us. I was one class short of a minor in psychology people, I GET IT (I realize this means nothing, don't comment about it, moving along).
I have listened to her cry over this said guy for years now. I know all of the terrible things he has said and done. I know the story. Here is my issue...WHAT DO I DO NOW? What does she need, my friend? Do I support her whole hearted and wait to pick up the pieces again or do I ask her WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING? Does she need tough love or undying support? Am I enabling her if I give her support? I know her biggest fear right now is being judged by her friends. I get that and Internet, I am not judging her, she is a great person regardless of this situation, but I don't know how to deal with it. I want to scream from the roof tops HE IS AN ASSHOLE THAT WILL GIVE YOU NOTHING BUT A BROKEN HEART AND THERAPY BILLS!!!! But I don't want her to feel like I am not trying to understand. I am trying. I need to understand. I don't get it. HELP!
1 week ago